I once heard someone say that the best professional advice they’d ever heard was to beware of negative people.
I’ve thought a lot about this over the years, even asking myself 1) how often I may be negatively influenced by people seem to tear down the world in which I live; and 2) I’ve ever inadvertently earned that notorious title myself (I sure hope not!).
Over the course of my life and career, I’ve learned that negative people aren’t always easy to spot, as they’re often friends, family members, or close colleagues. Many times they can even be people we like (though we might try to occasionally ignore). Negative people come in many forms:
+Complainers
+Finger-pointers
+Political haters
+Gossipmongers
+One-uppers
+Blame-shifters
+Fault-finders
+Doomsdayers
+Grass-is-always-greeners
+Social trollers
+”Not-to-be-rude, but”-ers
+WTF-ers
They’re people who tend to need to frequently and often satisfy a narcissistic need to point out what’s wrong—with other people, with politics, with the institution, with society, with the world—rather than listening, trying to learn, and working toward solutions.
Each of us is probably guilty of one or more of these acts of negativity once in a while. But allowing ourselves to be influenced by people who are more frequently so can keep us from listening to others, from remaining open-minded, from finding solutions, from seeing the good in people, from staying positive and healthy, and from maximizing potential.
Regularly allowing the negative to fill our mind clouds our ability to see what’s possible. It prevents us from hearing the other side, from seeing new perspectives, from collaborating to find better solutions. It also tends to keep us from reaching our potential as we’re stifled by what’s wrong. As Hans F. Hansen once said said: “People inspire you or they drain you. Pick them wisely.”
Not everything in life is happy or pleasant. It’s okay to express sadness, frustration, and anger. But there’s often a lot more good out there—in people, in institutions, in society—than we let ourselves see. If we let in more positivity, we’re likely to do more good.